by Raymond David Salas
Do you feel stressed on a daily or regular basis?
Do problems in one or more areas of your life feel overwhelming to you?
Are you unable to relax and enjoy your life?
If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, welcome to the unfortunately popular “Stressful Daily Life Club.”
But, don’t fret. There is a way to escape and cancel your lifetime membership.
12 Ways to Eliminate or Reduce Stress Daily
Here is a list that I developed, mostly through trial and error, on how to eliminate stress daily, really relax and start enjoying your life:
- Focus on the present.
Whenever we focus and dwell on the past, especially the challenges and problems; or project about the future, including all the things that could go wrong and other worst-case scenarios, the beauty of the present is tainted, minimized or lost. The solution: do your best to keep your focus on the present only. See this moment as new, a fresh start. Try to adopt a “beginner’s mind.”
- Focus on solutions.
If you’re facing problems, focus on possible solutions instead. If you don’t know any solutions, explore some possibilities or seek help from others who’ve been there and can truly help.
It’s o.k. to admit that you don’t have a clue about what to do. Start from there and pursue the answers you seek.
Hiding from your problems or pretending they’re not there will not make them go away. Accepting them, facing them, then deciding what you’re going to do about them will.
The key is to do all that you can from where you are and let go of the rest.
No matter what the problem or challenge is, it has been overcome by someone. Use these individuals as guides...as inspirations, and learn from them to help solve your problems and find solutions. They've already been there. They know. Follow their lead.
- Tell yourself a different story.
As I shared in my article The Secret to Manifesting Your Desires:
“The secret to manifesting your desires is: Tell a different story, a story of what you want and stop telling the story of what you don’t want (e.g. complaining, blaming, worrying, etc.).”
Whatever you focus on will expand in your consciousness and life. So, if you keep playing the “FML: All The Ways My Life Sucks” program over and over in your mind, thoughts, speech, and actions, your life will mirror this. It has to. It has no choice. Energy flows where attention goes.
Therefore, if you want something different, you must shift your focus, be willing to see things differently and do things differently, and stop complaining.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer
- Focus on one thing at a time.
When you have many things to do on your “to-do” list, here is the wisdom that has helped me the most to reduce stress and actually become more productive (and happier too):
“Toss productivity advice out the window. Most of it is well-meaning, but the advice is wrong for a simple reason: it’s meant to squeeze the most productivity out of every day, instead of making your days better. I now focus on one or two things to do each day, and (if) when I get them done, my day is golden. Everything else I do that day is gravy.” - Leo Babauta
- Don’t take things personally.
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz advises us: “Don’t take anything personally.”
When we take things personally, we create unnecessary stress in our life.
He explains:
“If you take it personally and take on the poison of another’s words, it becomes a very negative agreement you have with yourself. What anybody thinks about you, or says about you, is really about them. Not taking it personally allows you to be in relationship with anyone and not get trapped in their stuff.”
- Stop trying to control anything.
The decision to stop trying to control anything (e.g., people, circumstances, situations, etc.) is really just a decision to let go of the illusion of control because the truth is that we can’t ever really control anyone or anything outside of us. We only fool ourselves into believing that we can. It’s not true. It is a myth.
The only thing thing we can control is how we respond and focus our attention in the present moment. That’s it. Nothing more...yet we still try.
“When you think you control something, you’re wrong. It’s amazing how often we think we’re in control of something when really we aren’t. Control is an illusion...” - Leo Babauta
- Meditate.
In the 1970’s, a Harvard physician Herbert Benson developed a meditation technique called “the relaxation response.” Dr. Benson found that meditation creates a deep relaxation within us that decreases breathing, pulse rate, and blood pressure. When practiced on a daily basis, it can reduce stress, enhance mood, and lower blood pressure. What’s not to like?
- Breathe deeply.
I learned the importance of breathing deeply when I had a full-blown panic attack, just after I graduated from college and found myself away in a new town with a new job.
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know that it can feel like you’re having a heart attack. You have heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, chest pain, and other “fun” stuff.
Unknown to me at the time, with the stress of a new job, new city, and new residence, my breathing pattern had changed subtly and become shallow over time. The result was a panic attack.
The doctor who treated me told me that I could prevent them in the future by taking several slow, deep breaths (from the belly) whenever I experienced any of those symptoms again.
Since then, I have developed a daily habit of stopping several times during the day to take several slow, deep belly breaths. It always energizes me, clears my head, relieves stress, keeps me balanced and improves my focus.
- Genuinely smile more.
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
The benefits of genuinely smiling include relieving stress, positively changing our mood, boosting our immune system, and lowering our blood pressure.
“Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.” -Dr. Mark Stibich
- Exercise.
You might be thinking: “Yes, I know that exercise is good for you. Duh! But who has the time?”
I hear you. My response is to keep it simple. You don’t need to undertake a big exercise program, join a gym, or get a trainer. Just walk.
Many studies have proven the powerful benefits of walking.
Recently, a Harvard study showed that walking at a moderate or brisk pace for 30 minutes a day can cut the risk of heart disease by 40% in women and comparably in men.
So, get moving. What are you waiting for?
- Spend time in nature.
There are numerous therapeutic benefits to spending time in nature.
Being outdoors has always been an elixir for me. Whenever I go for a hike in nature or sit by the beach or read quietly in the park, I always feel so much better afterwards.
“In a series of studies, scientists found that when people swap their concrete confines for a few hours in more natural surroundings -- forests, parks and other places with plenty of trees -- they experience increased immune function. Stress reduction is one factor. But scientists also chalk it up to phytonicides, the airborne chemicals that plants emit to protect them from rotting and insects and which also seem to benefit humans.” - Anahad O’Connor (N.Y. Times)
- Find a way to be happy now.
“Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens. And response is something we can choose.” - Maureen Killor
If you took only one idea from this article on eliminating or reducing stress, it would be this: find a way to be happy now. Or find a way to feel better now.
Take tiny steps if you must, but keep moving in the direction towards feeling good. And, if you don’t know what direction that is, then simply ask yourself “what would bring me the greatest amount of peace now?” and go in that direction.
“While situations, encounters or events may seem intrinsically ‘stressful,’ it is truly how an individual perceives and reacts to an event that determines whether or not the stress response is activated.” - Institute of HeartMath
Do you feel stressed on a daily or regular basis?
Do problems in one or more areas of your life feel overwhelming to you?
Are you unable to relax and enjoy your life?
If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, welcome to the unfortunately popular “Stressful Daily Life Club.”
But, don’t fret. There is a way to escape and cancel your lifetime membership.
12 Ways to Eliminate or Reduce Stress Daily
Here is a list that I developed, mostly through trial and error, on how to eliminate stress daily, really relax and start enjoying your life:
- Focus on the present.
Whenever we focus and dwell on the past, especially the challenges and problems; or project about the future, including all the things that could go wrong and other worst-case scenarios, the beauty of the present is tainted, minimized or lost. The solution: do your best to keep your focus on the present only. See this moment as new, a fresh start. Try to adopt a “beginner’s mind.”
- Focus on solutions.
If you’re facing problems, focus on possible solutions instead. If you don’t know any solutions, explore some possibilities or seek help from others who’ve been there and can truly help.
It’s o.k. to admit that you don’t have a clue about what to do. Start from there and pursue the answers you seek.
Hiding from your problems or pretending they’re not there will not make them go away. Accepting them, facing them, then deciding what you’re going to do about them will.
The key is to do all that you can from where you are and let go of the rest.
No matter what the problem or challenge is, it has been overcome by someone. Use these individuals as guides...as inspirations, and learn from them to help solve your problems and find solutions. They've already been there. They know. Follow their lead.
- Tell yourself a different story.
As I shared in my article The Secret to Manifesting Your Desires:
“The secret to manifesting your desires is: Tell a different story, a story of what you want and stop telling the story of what you don’t want (e.g. complaining, blaming, worrying, etc.).”
Whatever you focus on will expand in your consciousness and life. So, if you keep playing the “FML: All The Ways My Life Sucks” program over and over in your mind, thoughts, speech, and actions, your life will mirror this. It has to. It has no choice. Energy flows where attention goes.
Therefore, if you want something different, you must shift your focus, be willing to see things differently and do things differently, and stop complaining.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr. Wayne Dyer
- Focus on one thing at a time.
When you have many things to do on your “to-do” list, here is the wisdom that has helped me the most to reduce stress and actually become more productive (and happier too):
“Toss productivity advice out the window. Most of it is well-meaning, but the advice is wrong for a simple reason: it’s meant to squeeze the most productivity out of every day, instead of making your days better. I now focus on one or two things to do each day, and (if) when I get them done, my day is golden. Everything else I do that day is gravy.” - Leo Babauta
- Don’t take things personally.
In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz advises us: “Don’t take anything personally.”
When we take things personally, we create unnecessary stress in our life.
He explains:
“If you take it personally and take on the poison of another’s words, it becomes a very negative agreement you have with yourself. What anybody thinks about you, or says about you, is really about them. Not taking it personally allows you to be in relationship with anyone and not get trapped in their stuff.”
- Stop trying to control anything.
The decision to stop trying to control anything (e.g., people, circumstances, situations, etc.) is really just a decision to let go of the illusion of control because the truth is that we can’t ever really control anyone or anything outside of us. We only fool ourselves into believing that we can. It’s not true. It is a myth.
The only thing thing we can control is how we respond and focus our attention in the present moment. That’s it. Nothing more...yet we still try.
“When you think you control something, you’re wrong. It’s amazing how often we think we’re in control of something when really we aren’t. Control is an illusion...” - Leo Babauta
- Meditate.
In the 1970’s, a Harvard physician Herbert Benson developed a meditation technique called “the relaxation response.” Dr. Benson found that meditation creates a deep relaxation within us that decreases breathing, pulse rate, and blood pressure. When practiced on a daily basis, it can reduce stress, enhance mood, and lower blood pressure. What’s not to like?
- Breathe deeply.
I learned the importance of breathing deeply when I had a full-blown panic attack, just after I graduated from college and found myself away in a new town with a new job.
If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know that it can feel like you’re having a heart attack. You have heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, chest pain, and other “fun” stuff.
Unknown to me at the time, with the stress of a new job, new city, and new residence, my breathing pattern had changed subtly and become shallow over time. The result was a panic attack.
The doctor who treated me told me that I could prevent them in the future by taking several slow, deep breaths (from the belly) whenever I experienced any of those symptoms again.
Since then, I have developed a daily habit of stopping several times during the day to take several slow, deep belly breaths. It always energizes me, clears my head, relieves stress, keeps me balanced and improves my focus.
- Genuinely smile more.
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
The benefits of genuinely smiling include relieving stress, positively changing our mood, boosting our immune system, and lowering our blood pressure.
“Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.” -Dr. Mark Stibich
- Exercise.
You might be thinking: “Yes, I know that exercise is good for you. Duh! But who has the time?”
I hear you. My response is to keep it simple. You don’t need to undertake a big exercise program, join a gym, or get a trainer. Just walk.
Many studies have proven the powerful benefits of walking.
Recently, a Harvard study showed that walking at a moderate or brisk pace for 30 minutes a day can cut the risk of heart disease by 40% in women and comparably in men.
So, get moving. What are you waiting for?
- Spend time in nature.
There are numerous therapeutic benefits to spending time in nature.
Being outdoors has always been an elixir for me. Whenever I go for a hike in nature or sit by the beach or read quietly in the park, I always feel so much better afterwards.
“In a series of studies, scientists found that when people swap their concrete confines for a few hours in more natural surroundings -- forests, parks and other places with plenty of trees -- they experience increased immune function. Stress reduction is one factor. But scientists also chalk it up to phytonicides, the airborne chemicals that plants emit to protect them from rotting and insects and which also seem to benefit humans.” - Anahad O’Connor (N.Y. Times)
- Find a way to be happy now.
“Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens. And response is something we can choose.” - Maureen Killor
If you took only one idea from this article on eliminating or reducing stress, it would be this: find a way to be happy now. Or find a way to feel better now.
Take tiny steps if you must, but keep moving in the direction towards feeling good. And, if you don’t know what direction that is, then simply ask yourself “what would bring me the greatest amount of peace now?” and go in that direction.
“While situations, encounters or events may seem intrinsically ‘stressful,’ it is truly how an individual perceives and reacts to an event that determines whether or not the stress response is activated.” - Institute of HeartMath
